Without feeling the need, or having the interest, to go into details, I'd like to make a complaint. This is not tied to anything relevant, just a long standing frustration.
Strength. Emotional strength, rather. I don't discount the value of being able to lift a large rock off of oneself or what have you, but it's not pertinent to the ramblings du jour. Being strong emotionally is seen as a great asset, which surely it is. It is often discounted, however, that this emotional fortitude is earned and not gifted; I've yet to meet someone who has not endured significant struggle and/or suffering to reach this stage.
Therein, I am often irritated and befuddled when someone offers to another that they are "so strong" in the midst of a hardship. Generally this observation is presented as some attempt at moral support, which to me is saying "hey, you can handle this; I will not really do anything of consequence because you're capable, but my telling you this proves that I care". Does it not occur to them that perhaps said individual may not want to be strong anymore? It's condescending and ignorant.
People are strong because they have to be. It's an important reality, but what does being reminded of this trait do much more than make the subject feel further isolated? One may be a veteran of enduring great duress, but in no way does that inherently promise that they do so with ease. More often than not, having to be as strong as one does to be commended for it is not at all pleasant.
Just a thought. If you're going to give half assed encouragement, I'd rather have some tulips.
0 comments:
Post a Comment