Crazy double post mania! The country is in hysterics!
Ehem.
MARY BLAIR.
If you're not familiar with her, get hep, kid:
In short, Mary Blair was best known for her work as an animator for Walt Disney, but later went on to do graphic design and illustration. Surely you recall those Little Golden books from childhood, oui? Those are what I remember her for.
Oh my word. Everything about her aesthetic appeals to me. What a blessing upon the world, mais non?
Indeed you are smiling now, if only just a little?
She did so much wonderful work; it took great restraint to post only the handful of examples above. Thanks Mary!
Oh, hello there. Yes, it's been a while. Ten points to you for powering on during my absence.
I'm back in Colorado, and will be returning home tomorrow. I've been gone for two weeks, but this is not in any way pertinent to my inattentiveness here.
The inherently narcissistic quality of having a blog is a stumbling block for me. This is not to say that I do not enjoy blathering on endlessly about myself and topics pertaining to me, be they irritants, pleasures or simple observations, but more accurately that my narcissism is such that I have a hard time with others being made aware of it. In emily's perfect persona, I am selfless and thoughtful, taking time to watch the world with an equal mix of wide eyed wonder and cynicism. I am introspective and shy, not freely sharing my internal dialogue with a litany of mysterious internet purveyors.
Being one such purveyor of le internets, I have been noticing more frequently just how self absorbed many bloggers are. As it's February and we're still fairly fresh off the New Year's boat, there are a number of "this year I vow to!" lists, wherein people discuss goals and challenges and sometimes try to engage readers by turning the tables and asking them to ask themselves those questions. "What do you want to make happen in 2011?!"
Photos of oneself trotting about in gabardine (untrue, but I love the world) frocks with perfectly styled hair and obedient yet full o' personality kittens, allegedly caught 'in the moment' run rampant, too. Oh, here's a terrible picture of me, droves of readers from around the world! Look at my hair in these six separate photos, all of which entail my charming visage and depict my carefree, loving life way of being!
I don't mean to sound bitter, and I do recognize that obviously I'm not that put off as I still have a bevy of such blogs on my rss feeds. That said, I wonder: what it is that makes these forums appealing to large numbers of readers? Do they skim the surface, as I do, or are they dedicated? As many of these bloggers are sustained by their blogs, I feel they must be drawing in enough of a committed, enraptured crowd. They begin to speak like gurus, rather than twenty-somethings who like to craft or explore cities or thrift. I imagine it's an unintentional transformation that comes hand in hand with gaining an audience. I wouldn't know, which is just fine by me.
And yes, I do find it ironic that I've been going on about narcissism and bloggers, all the while talking about myself and how I view this trend and what I think about it and why I have a hard time feeling comfortable putting things out into the blogosphere as it were (if that's not a contemptuous word, i don't know what is).
I suppose ultimately that most bloggers are less self aware than I am. Maybe they really are these idealistic, carefree girls, with perfectly tamed tresses and svelte physiques, who eat all these confections they post pictures of after baking and still fit into their size xs samples from sponsors. How can there be so many of them, though?
As for myself, I in no way suggest to have some uplifting world perspective, nor fancy myself in any position to give advice/inspire others. I don't feel it is necessarily relevant which aspects of my life could use some tuning, nor any confidence that if I scooped up one or both of my cats they'd cooperate with me in an attempt to capture some charming moment. As it stands, they're probably very displeased with me for going out of town for two weeks. My toes will be cold for days before one of them declares me forgiven enough to sleep upon again.
Long story short: there is no way to write a personal blog entry without it being personal. As someone who dislikes drawing attention to herself (we will save the conversation regarding why, then, I dye my hair, dress the way I do and snark aloud so frequently), it is contradictory that I should want to muse and ponder publicly. Alas.
More than likely, I need just to admit that I am as narcissistic as every other twenty-something blogger, but with less capacity to pull it off.
I'm still uncomfortable with how entirely this lump of brain charcoal focuses upon myself. ME ME ME ME ME.
